Nature vs. Me

Sunday night was just a regular night for me. I got off work about 10:30 that night. I think I made it home about 11:00. I was a little tired from the long day at work. All I wanted to do was walk into my house, have a seat on the sofa, and watch some ESPN. I walked up to the front door and stuck my key into the knob. The light on the outside of the house was on. Something told me to glance up to my left.

When I looked up I got an unexpected surprise. There was a large Iguana lizard hovering over the front part of my house.  “Wow” was the only word I could come up with at that time. I never imagined that an exotic lizard would be relaxing outside my house. I walked inside to find a house full of women. My fiancé was there, her mother, her sister, and her sister’s roommate.  I asked them if they noticed an Iguana outside the house.  Of course non off them noticed it.

They all jumped up and walked to the front of the house. There is a window that sits right above the door of my house. So they were able to see it when they reached the front of the house. They all screamed out surprised at the massive lizard. My fiancé immediately asked if she needed to call 911. I quickly ended that idea, deciding to handle it myself. I decided to call a friend of mine, who had owned a Monitor lizard at one time. He told me to leave it alone. Then he starts naming all the benefits of having an Iguana. Benefits like no rodents and no unwanted insects.

I told him I could handle that myself without a giant Iguana. He asked me not to kill it. I assured him I was not going to kill it. I just wanted him to go somewhere else. I got out of my work clothes and got in some lounge around gear. I then went into the garage to get a broom. I opened the garage door and thought of another plan. I decided to spay the lizard down with water. I got the garden hose and walked confidently over to where the lizard was.

I sprayed him with the water and he didn’t even budge. It was like he was enjoying the water or something. I started to hit at him with the broom and he still would not move. My intentions were in vain. The lizard barely moved its gigantic tail. By this time I had a crowd of women inside the house watching me from the window. I would occasionally use the broom to hit at them. They would all jump back and scream. It was hilarious watching them scatter and jump.  I went back to spraying the lizard. Still there was no effect on him. My fiancé then opens the front door trying to get a better look at the lizard.

I told her to close the door before it gets inside. She quickly slammed the door at the mention of it getting inside. I took one last swing at it and knocked it to the ground.  The lizard hit the ground and quickly got back up. He tried to get back on house, but I knocked him down again. I was surprised at how fast he ran from me.

 This thing was really moving and ran up under my car. I figured I had proved my point and decided to leave him alone. A few days later my fiancé said she saw him outside the house again. This time he ran away without getting up to his favorite spot. I know that this has to be somebody’s pet.

I don’t like the idea of someone releasing an exotic pet like that. It makes me wonder what else they would release. If you have an exotic pet and decide to get rid of it. Then it should be done in a proper way and not in a residential area with a bunch of little kids running around. Hopefully that will be my last time dealing with the monster lizard.